The reason you have pain in any part of your life is because your map sucks.  Your “map” is how you understand reality and its based on three elements.

  1. Understanding yourself
  2. Understanding your environment and
  3. Having enough energy to make change

All pain, illness and disease whether physical, relationship, business or any other domain come down to at least one of these three things.

When your map sucks you are going to run into problems you just don’t understand, or even worse, you think you understand and you don’t (classic recipe for spinning your wheels and feeling stuck).

Here’s an example of an insufficient map:

Nadia has crippling anxiety.  She hides from making the changes she knows she has to and because of this she’s hanging on to a dead relationship, getting walked on at work and overeating.  Nadia believes she’s addressing the issue by “doing the spiritual work.”  Here’s what’s really going on.

  1. She’s focusing all her energy on her and her feelings instead of what has to happen
  2. She’s focusing on feelings instead of actions
  3. She’s trying to “heal spiritually” and avoiding the pain
  4. And she’s “working at it” – meaning not nearly enough energy to actually make a shift.

Here’s the deal – THESE ARE NOT UNIVERSAL PROBLEMS – these are Nadia’s problems based on who she is, her level of maturation and development.

What’s confusing for most people is that they work on the stuff that seems like the “right stuff” but its horrible advice for them based on who and where they are.

This is a map issue.  You’re looking at a beautiful spot on the map but you’ll never get there based on where you are.

I know one of my gifts is recognizing where someone is in their map and the roads THEY MUST take to heal, to grow, to transcend to break through.  Take Nadia.  I helped her connect deeply to the anxiety and, finally, overwhelm her completely.  Her fear was that if she let that happen it would never go away.

It lasted exactly 2 minutes and 18 seconds before she saw the gift and the humor it in. That’s how this shit works.  Did she get anxious again after that?  Of course, its not about making the anxiety go away, its about making sure you have the resources to handle anything and everything that comes up.

Love, Rage.  Hell no, hell yes.  Commit, stop committing.  Pray, curl up in a fetal position and bawl til you’re hoarse.

Use the wrong strategy (most do) and you’re screwed, or stuck at best.  Use the right strategy and the roadblock evaporates.

If you feel like you’re lost in the wilderness, like the sun is going down and its getting cold and you don’t have the map to get you where you need to go – reach out, let’s connect.  I want to help you.

I’ve you agree, have experienced this or think I’m full of crap leave a comment below, I’d love to connect.